I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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