just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
