return my video game
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I supernannyed him into submission
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
