Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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