just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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