I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
