She's JV to your varsity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
