i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
