It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im part way to drunk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
