so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
