I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
