Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
