College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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