Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
