i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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