I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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