I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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