The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
