fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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