oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
