And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
