So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
