You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
