He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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