I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
