carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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