sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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