What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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