Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
