Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
