I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
