I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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