btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
