Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
