do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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