Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
