its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
