im six kinds of drunk right now
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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