Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
