im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
barbara walters just said penis...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
