Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
