3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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