I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
