Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
