Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
