the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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