i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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