i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
