Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
