You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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