So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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