matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
