you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
